Chapter two
Radiation Therapy


  [rey-dee-eyt; rey-dee-it, -eyt]  Show IPA verb,ra·di·at·ed, ra·di·at·ing, adjective.

verb (used without object)
to extend, spread, or move like rays or radii from a center.
to emit rays, as of light or heat; irradiate.
to issue or proceed in rays.
(of persons) to project or glow with cheerfulness, joy, etc.: Shesimply radiates with good humor.
verb (used with object)
to emit in rays; disseminate, as from a center.
(of persons) to project (joy, goodwill, etc.).

This sort of seems like what I am about to take on, hold on let me look again...

a couple weeks ago I began this new journey into the unknown it started with a lump in the perineum area which for those who do not know anatomy is a thin lining between the Vagina and Anus.  After being set up for a surgical Biopsy, once I woke up The Surgeon told me he didn't want to do a Biopsy and just wants to remove the whole thing so another operation was set. AS this procedure  took place and I woke up I was told he removed most of it but could not remove it all.
Why I ask? and the answer is not simple, it's because the rest of the mass is so close to the anus side of the wall if he had removed the whole thing it would have left a hole. and trust me I don't need any extra holes in that area. it would have left me with a colostomy bag as well as a bag for urine.  and this would have been a forever thing and I want to avoid this as long as I can.

I was put in contact with an other Doctor, his specialty is Radiation and has promised how anal (pardon the punt) he is and seems to believe he can fix this,
I was set up for a CT Scan and an MRI for the same day and having many before i wasn't too
concerned. The plan is to drink a clear fluid which seemed like a gallon , wait and scan the area, little did I know that this wasn't just a CT Scan but an insert into the Vagina that she taped to my leg, yes it was painful. Markers were put on me.  Three, x marks the spots. The MRI was next which is very loud and 45 minutes long. DONE! I went home and took care of my sick ponies then slept for hours.
I few days later I receive a call for another CT Scan, ok. well, The first was not done correctly, The second was done in a much different way . The drink sucked, It was a Male instead of a female, and he did things in his own way. right down to setting up my molded body pad, removed old markers and begun again without insert. That was just not necessary to begin with.He placed the new markers and marked just at the perineum wall and asked if I had back problems. which the answer was yes. marking with out knowing just didnt settle well with him, He is good at what he does.
Monday I will return for something he called angle-ing. hmmm and then tuesday will begin my first session.  Its a whole new learning curve here folks should be a life time lesson.
Well my appointment went...... well,  I sat under the largest x-ray i ever saw, they read off numbers hit bottons, told me not to move at all and played music which just made me want to dance without moving. lol.
they re- marked, x-rayed, turned the thing sideways and x-rayed again. I had them snap a photo which i will post on here. and yep! Tomorrow morning at 9:30am I will be there to begin #1 of 25.  The count down begins.  What I did learn is that once these marks are just where they should be, they will replace the marker with a tattoo yep, wont be removing these EVER. hmmm. so this will be my reminder of how precious life really is.  We went out to dinner, my last supper! because I know what the chemo will do,  
Today is Friday, I get two days off from Chemo and Radiation, I also got my new Tattoo's on my body, yes, those little spots where they zap you with Radiation will be there forever, a reminder of what i have gone through.
It has been so bad, the first 4 days of radiation have been uneventful.  although this afternoon I am beginning to feel like someone turned up the heat, and it gives a whole new meaning to butt roast or rump roast.
I now will have the weekend to feel the effects and take a short break until monday no Radiation and no Chemo
Today is Groundhog day!  Seems like every day is Groundhog's day, everything and everyday is this same.
This week was the same as last week. Radiation at 9:30 AM, drive home, butt hot, take Chemo pills and go to bed.
but Thursday I changed things up a little bit and got myself the flu. which kept me from Friday's Radiation and Chemotherapy.  I slept over 30 something hours, got a prescription for antibiotic for a sinus infection, doubled up on my Vit, C, E and Zinc and waiting it out, or should I say sleeping through it. 
I think I'm doing ok through this. every day when I walk in the first thing is asked: Name, birth date, and pain scale. 1 being good and 10 being bad, i have to rate this so far as a 2.
Monday would have been my half way point on the Radiation part but now it will be tuesday instead. I love the team who does the Radiation and they make it easy for me. I will post the photo of the machine so you can see it and hopefully get a few others on here.  It's the weekend, at its my time without the drugs, and here I am sick with the flu, ohhh this too shall pass.

5 more radiations under my belt. , 13 so far. I have lost 10 lbs and i guess this messes with the markers. Never giving that a thought when they ask daily if I have any pain. I didnt consider pooping my brains out  as something that wold interest them, but with all the weight loss I guess that can screw up the machine and where the zipping happens. I think that is the worse part so i took some ammonium  and it has helped. so if you have to go through this remember it will cause you to need "woops i crapped my pants"lol  and you do need to let them know if you have a lot of weight loss.
Still hate the Chemo part, I woke up today and couldnt walk, my feet feel like im walking on needles and my fingers too. Its Friday, I will take my night Chemo and then the weekend is all mine. woohoo.

Last week was pretty bad, the burns on my butt side  are getting more sore by the day and seems I never leave the bathroom. The pain as well as I could ever explain it  is like some one holding a lighter to my bottom, anything I do hurts. but, you still go on the best you can.
I'm not one for pain pills but last week I ate them like candy and slept with a fan blowing on me all day and night. thank God for my Husband and Daughter who took care of all the  stuff needing to be done. My step son was here before leaving to go to Afghanistan and I didn't even get to spend time with them, Im sick over that!
so today I went to the Doctors (Radiation appointment) and saw the Doctor first, Im now taking a short break before finishing up the last 8 treatments, a healing time for now. a few prescriptions to sooth the burns and I'll be good to go. Nice to have a few days of both the radiation and chemo would I do this again knowing what I know now? well... that is a hard question to answer. perhaps if i could make my schedule I would. but the 5 days a week is way too much to handle. I have started a new Cell support called Graviola. have read lots about how its a cancer fighter and want to go but the tree. I take 1000 mg daily which is one more to my list that consists of:
Graviola                    1000mg
Calcium/Magnesium  450mg
C/RoseHip                 1000mg
B-6                             100mg
B-12                            500mg
CoQ-10                       200mg
E                                 400IU
Cranberry                    475mg
Zinc                             100mg
Probiotics                     Billions!!!
2 stool soteners
Turmeric                      900mg plus cook with it which they say is better then pill form
Moringa                        800mg  I have this tree and use it in food
then on Radiation days I have to do Chemo
Xeloda                          2600mg I think this is the only bad thing I take!
Domeboro astringent solution 3 times daily with a side of pure aloe plant. what a diet! 

I have been off Radiation and Chemo since tuesday. and finally starting to feel better, monday the office is closed so tuesday ill be checked and most likly begin my last 8 treatments.  Ive learned my shower reaches the toilet, and a package of Domeboro and water rinses help to heal.
a spray foam called Proctofoam is used 2 x daily and Lidocaine is used every time i hit the bathroom. my hand have been in this area more then anywhere else. lol. its all for the cause. This has not been easy, yet I've been about to survive it. and as much as there are times I just want to call it quits, im not a quitter! the good Lord will take me kicking and screaming NOOOOOOO all the way with claw marks on the door.  and if anyone out there is going through this. YOU CAN make it through this. YOU CAN fight and win.  I may be repeating my self but a friend bought me a book called "The Healing Codes" GET THIS BOOK. it has changed my life and way of thinking forever! Thank you Bob.
On Tuesday it will be my 11th anniversary I am married to the most wonderful man in this whole world, It is also My 55 Birthday. and the beginning of my last treatments. wow what a day that will be, so, we will celebrate our life together and begin the count down to a new and healthy life together.  I wish all Cancer patients can be as blessed as I am.

It has been an interesting week.  after a week off of the Chemo and Radiation my body said "THANK YOU"  Then, I began my last 4 treatments on monday. and my body said "REALLY!!!" totally turning my stomach into mush, yep. throwing up, on toilet all day, tired. 
Monday Myles had to drive me to radiation I couldn't even hold my head up, did my treatment, saw the doctor, he had to check things out and said it looked good, (who says that? your butt looks good in there lol), no signs of fistula, which pleased the Doctor and me , he cant wait to tell the others it didn't happen lol."I TOLD YOU SO!  then went to see my Oncologist, flushed my port, did blood work (WBC count down) and came home to do my chemo pills and slept for soooo long.  Tuesday was just about the same but I sucked it up and drove myself. today is Wednesday!!!! and TOMORROW is my LAST treatment and Chemo oh happy day!!!!
Its been a lot of lessons, I have traveled this journey for 2 very long years, I have gain so much from all I have experienced. I have met so many wonderful people. and I am BLESSED!  I now have 6 weeks off everything before CT,MRI, PET scans and I will enjoy every second of every day. I wont look back but I will remember because as hard as this has been I've gained so much in my life.
Covers for Chemo id Blooming and I will receive an award for my "Paying it Forward" from Mass General Hospital. This is an award for people who work for Cancer it is called "the one hundred"  you can go to their website
I'll let you know how my last day at radiation goes and there will be photos posted but im a website dummy so mules has to do that stuff for me.

I want to say thank you for the 14000 hits on this site, i feel so loved.
Im beating this come hell or high waters, so ill be around for many yrs to come posting away and helping others on their journey through the villain "Cancer" hmmm maybe I will become a super hero, somebody come up with a costume for me. hahaha (i'll wear it) 

Its been a week today that I finished my Radiation and Chemo. I thought by now I would be buzzing around the yard, working with the animals and living life again, but I think being in the hospital over the weekend for dehydration didnt help the healing as quickly as I wanted it to. 
It has been rough but the past 2 days have been getting better, I get up, feed the Zoo get a coffee and rest. I picked up in the yard for 15 minutes and rest, I put in a few blocks in a walk way and rest. lol its all about timing, and mine just happens to be a bit slow. but.... every day i do a little more and feel a little better and rest....
We went out to breakfast this morning because after 3 i shouldn't eat I can have a piece of chicken / protein for dinner and water, no sugars, starches, bla bla bla. I have a whole body scan tomorrow and Tuesday I have a CT/MRI, the following week I will see both Doctors and I know Ill be ok.  I still do my healing codes and they are a total blessing in my life. the keep me stress free and we know that the stress in life stops the immune system from working and when the immune system does not work, the good new cells will not grow and we need them to fight off the bad cells.
This past month has had a lot of stressful things coming and going but i stop and do my healing codes, and I have always been a firm believer in Karma, so I leave it all up to God now. I will be going to MA in June for a very Honored award from "The One Hundred"  this award is given out by Harvard Medical and Mass General Hospital each year they pick one hundred people who work for Cancer, (one hundred out of the whole country,  Covers for Chemo has been nominated. so on June 5th we will be receiving the award for what we do best, helping Cancer patients.  I just can't even believe they choose Covers, 
I have been taking all my wonderful supplements and I know they have helped me to recover quickly.  I do not have to nap every day, but there are times I have to just lay down and rest for a bit. My yard is finally looking so great. (after 2 yrs of neglect) and I love being out side. but... Summer is close and it will be much less outdoor time for me when it hits.
I honestly don't know how I would have really made it through these 2 past years without my daughter and grand daughter helping. Savannah is a natural with the Horses, feeding when Nana can't, brushing them and cleaning up. and Lindsay has been here to clean the house, shop, laundry, all the little things we take for granted.
For month both Myles and I were sick and on medications, Neither one of us could get out of our own way, but Lindsay took care of us both with out question.  Myles has recovered  and has a clean bill of health, and I will have the same results next week.
This Journey has been scary, sad, laughable, trying, a wealth of knowledge and growth. It is now time to live again! you can see my future plans in laughing through Cancer for Covers for Chemo.
I will post again after all my Doctors visits to bring you all the good news and future plans. Until then, remember this, "God only gives us what we can handle".  Laugh, de-stress, and live life to it's fullest. If you need to vent, call me, write me, i am here for you.  

CYBER KNIFE RADIATION!!!   3 times.   Not 25 like regular Radiations, no pain no side effects, awesome, if you have 2or less tumors they can make them disappear , who could ask for more. ill see results on March 4th
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